Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to tell you this over the phone, but your son is terribly sick. He has stage four xenophobia, commonly known as racism. He may never recover.
Ma'am, does your family have any history of racism? It's a highly heritable disease, especially among Caucasians.
I know he may seem perfectly normal, but as a trained diversity consultant, I've seen these cases time and time before. Patients seem to be healthy, strong, masculine, and virile. But beneath the veneer of wealth, self confidence, and power, your son is suffering a real lack of diversity.
While to all outward appearances, he appears to be normal, the lack of diversity is truly killing him. As his body's cells reject diversity, they slowly decay over time. No organism can survive without diversity.
With that said, there is still a chance that effective treatment could give him a bit more time. I suggest that he immediately begin an intensive diversity treatment. I know a black patient we can move into his room, and there's an Arab nurse who can replace his White nurse. It might also help if we restrict his television viewing to Spanish-language channels only.
However, you should understand this this treatment will be extremely expensive. Besides the decrease in property values, there will be some serious side effects, including increased levels of crime, poverty, and ethno-masochistic guilt.
What? No, no, there's no other option. With some diversity training, there's a chance that all this could be completely painless. Some patients report delusions of self righteousness, including hallucinations of improvement, elation, and pleasure at the prospect of their eminent demise. There is a small risk of depression or suicide, but we'll have to take that chance. It's really the best thing we could do for him, considering the circumstances.
Excuse me? Who are you calling a "Jewish quack?" Oh dear--it's as I feared. Clearly your son inherited the disease from your side of the family. Don't worry ma'am--I'm calling an ambulance right now. The paramedics will arrive shortly.
Hopefully, some day, we can eradicate this terrible disease.
The Weather Underground: founded by Bill Ayers, Obama's mentor.